Financial Care is Self Care
I wish I could fool myself into thinking that taking care of my overall wellbeing does not include finances. I want to pretend I can just live in a world where money doesn't matter. However, each day when I actively resist the sponsored posts and ads on Instagram, each week when I charge my groceries to my credit card, each month as the bills role in, and each year when my taxes are due--I am forced to confront the unfortunate reality that we live in a world where money matters. Most of us live in a society built on trying to get us to buy more, rather than save more, or to feel the difficult feelings.
It is so important to make efforts to protecting our financial wellbeing. Money is an extremely emotional thing, despite the fact that our bank accounts and pay checks may try to convince us "it's just math." We all have deeply personal histories involving the way we save, spend, and value money and I believe it can be important to start with examining this before we try to make major changes in the way we manage our finances.
Examine Your Money Story
What lessons did your family of origin teach you spending money? Saving money? About debt?
What was your impression as a kid of how much money you and your family had?
Did you have any moments where you remember feeling like you did not have enough money?
What is your impression of your inter generational wealth (or lack of)?
How did your economic status affect how you felt in the community you grew up in? How does it affect how you feel in your current community?
What misconceptions did you or do you think you have about money?
What patterns do you see in your spending?
What emotions or events in your life cause you to spend more money?
What times do you buy things to make you feel better, to treat yourself, or as a reward?
How do you feel about talking/thinking about money?
What stresses you about finances?
What do you imagine it would look and feel like to be managing your money well?
What financial goals do you have?
Consider Organizing Your Finances
Take a general assessment of how much money you currently have and how much money you are making
Create a budget
Start an emergency fund
Set up auto-pay for monthly bills
Set up auto-savings or deferments for retirement
Organize your physical or digital financial files
Create Systems of Support & Accountability
Find your people who feel safe to talk about money with and will encourage your saving goals
Create go-to boundary statements of why you will or will not be spending money on something (especially if you have loved ones with different spending patterns)
For example, "I've hit my budget this month for eating dinners out but maybe we could go on a walk instead? I can make us coffee to go!"
"I've been researching and saving for a new laptop, and I know this is a good decision for me at this time," (even if others may not agree).
Set regular times to talk about finances with your household
This could include weekly check-ins about the balances of bank accounts and upcoming bills
This could include monthly check-ins to reevaluate budget categories or add in savings goals
Having a regular ongoing time will help reduce potential stress about "bringing up money" with your spouse, partner, or other household members because it is expected and not happening at non-ideal times
Talk with a therapist about the way your money story may be strongly influencing your money habits and your overall wellbeing
Seek Out New Information
Read books on finances that will teach you the basics and beyond, make yourself feel more confident in your knowledge
Listen to podcasts about money
Follow social media accounts that educate and encourage good financial behaviors
Consider hiring or seeking out financial professionals to assist
Ask people who you respect and admire their financial management for advice or assistance
What are your recommendations? Let me know!
Be Gentle & Patient With Yourself
Most important, it's okay. Money can be very stressful for the majority of folks. It is important to learn about the realties and logistics of financial systems, as well as develop your own personal system that meets your lifestyle, financial goals, and basic needs. Take a deep breath, you're thinking about money and moving towards a goal---that's such a good step.